How to Escape ANBU 101
by Shy12307
Summary: This is a tutorial of how to escape ANBU featuring the achievements of a widely known prankster, the #1 unpredictable ninja, and the next Hokage, you better BELIEVE IT! Uzumaki Naruto!
1. Method #1: Basic Fencing

Scenario#1: Tracker/ Assassination ANBU

Inu: This ANBU Captian just had the worst timing ever. Especially when he pierced his teammate with his Chidori and his 'dead' teammate watching, causing a world of chaos. Also that time he conveniently walked past the hot spring a certain purple-haired interrogator was bathing at. But this just goes underneath the "Chidori Piercing".

He was standing under a doorway with an chalkboard eraser on his head, soaked head to toe in glitter of every kind mixed with a pretty pink paint , that even Sakura has to admit it was a more pretty shade of pink than her hair. It seems that the ambush was not over.

Heading towards him were sharp kunai, to his left was a windmill ninja star. His eyes behind his mask widened when his feet didn't budge when he tried to run. The kunai and ninja star was were about to impact, but when they did it was as soft as Pukun's paws.

He blinked dumbfounded, when he heard boisterous laughter coming from outside. His eyes narrowed. He had just got done from an assassination mission, with the target being the typical asshole, he was insanely guarded by rogue ninja, and the guy just had to be a drug dealer along with being a rapist. Let's just say the target got what he deserved, and whomever set up this prank for Inu was going to share the same fate.

He ran outside to find the culprit only to find an empty road with fences lining it with muddy footprints leading down it. Now if Inu was an idiot, he would have followed the foot prints but he wasn't. So he thought logically and looked around for his target.

He checked everywhere, in the bushes, in the littlest crack to the largest, in the building, and he went as far as summoning Pukun to find the culprit, only to show up with nothing. Then when he went back to the doorway, where he was pranked at, he saw a note with the most ugliest and messiest scribblings he had ever seen. If he didn't realized the slightest resemblance from the scribbles to kanji, he would have thought it was a messy drawing of a landscape.

After a few seconds of reading the letter he started chuckling darkly. He should how known it was him, the boy who never had a target but always manage to get the worst victims. He released the note from his hand, and body flickered to the Hokage office to hand in his report, and possibly grab an address and a file.

Now if you have any idea of how to read Japanese, you would know the note would say, "Naruto Uzumaki was here."

**Well that was a fun chapter. P.S Inu had a tantrum when he saw that the glitter and paint got to his Icha Icha Paradise, and he was particularly annoyed when anyone brought up the ANBU who came out the lounging room with a trail of glitter and pink paint following him. Now to go through with this prank escape you will need:**

**• A fabric/cardboard fence**

**• A distraction**

**• a fence**

**• And the guts to pull it off**

**Steps:**

**1\. Set up your prank**

**2\. When done, put up fake trails or something to distract your victim**

**3\. Make sure that your fabric/cardboard lines up with the fence you are using.**

**4\. Hold your fabric/cardboard up, and hope you don't get caught.**

**Thank you for reading!**


	2. Method 2: Two Ways But Which Way?

Scenario #2: Assassination ANBU

Tanuki: He was all for sticking a senbon needle in his mouth when he was a kid, but truthfully he just thought it was some sort of lollipop at first. Now honestly, he just thinks it's cool to have a thin needle that can pierce through his skin, and possible kill him, in his mouth. So when he noticed his favorite shiny senbon needle was gone, he freaked out. All of his thoughts were, "Where did I leave it at!? Please don't tell me I stabbed in someone and forgot to get it back!"

He didn't want to ask someone because of all the teasing he already gets from that one time he- oh nevermind he found his senbon.But how in the world did it get in the pocket of green shorts that belong to the blonde haired child. Oh, that explains it...

It was Naruto Uzumaki. The little boy caught the ANBU staring at him and a devious smile formed on the whiskered face.

It was clear the boy knew what he was doing.

The tanuki masked ANBU stepped towards him, and that one step signaled Naurto that it was time to run. So he dashed off leaving a shocked ANBU.

But their was a reason why this ANBU made an ANBU officer.

He was only shocked for a few seconds before he dashed after the kid.

He really didn't have a hard time catching up to Naruto. At least, that's what he thought.

Naruto dived into bushes and Tanuki followed him in, but when he emerged he was alone. He looked around and found footprints. Now, Tanuki was no tracker ANBU, but he was pretty sure the footprints belonged to Naruto, or did they? Even though something at the back of his head told him that something wasn't right, he still followed the footprints. The footprints eventually lead to a trail that splits up. He didn't look up from the footprints that lead to the right of the trail. And he so wisely followed, only to end up at another fork in the road. So he followed the footprints once again, over and over and over again until... well, untill he realized the footprints were... stickers...

At the moment, Tanuki realized he had just wasted 10 minutes of his life going around in circles chasing a dumb yellow headed prankster when he could have ended this chase a long time ago. He got so irritated he reached into his pocket to retrieve his senbon Zneedle and shoved it in his mouth and start to chew on it angrily.

Wait.

Senbon needle...

His favorite...

Tanuki gasp, anime tears dripping down his face. A look of pure joy replace the grumpy face he had on just a split second ago. He looked at one of the stickers on the forest floor, being to happy to be mad, and notice a note sticking out. He slides the note out and deathpans at what he reads.

'You're Welcome -The Future Hokage, Naruto Uzumaki'

That instantly ruins his mood.

Across Tanuki is Naruto in the bushes snickering to himself. Once he has enough laughs about Tanuki's face and takes a picture, he runs off to his rundown apartment.

* * *

**Yet another chapter done for my readers! I really hoped you enjoyed this chapter and I'll see you guys in the next. Until then, good bye!**

**-Shy12307**


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